Happy Birthday Serenade

I need to blog more about Saige...

I know I do. I don't know why I don't, she's a perfectly adorable "almost 8" year old. I sometimes focus too much time on Wyatt. It's understandable, this is a busy season in his life too. But sometime I worry that Saige gets lost. But not Monday night. Monday night is when Saige has her dance class. Saige shines at dance, her class is doing a dance to "It's a hard knock life" from Annie. I love it! Saige and I saw Annie on Broadway, okay not in New York, but it was at the Music Hall down town, almost as nice as New York.





Monday night she didn't shine at dance class because she got every move right, or because she was necessarily the best in the class, but it was what happened after dance that made her shine. John got held up at work, so Saige, Wyatt and I ventured to dance class on our own. I don't like taking Wyatt. The waiting room for parents is about 12 feet by 12 feet. There is nothing for him to do there, nothing for him to really play with (at least nothing he is supposed to play with). When this has happened in the past, I usually send Saige in on her own and Wyatt and I watch a movie in the van in the parking lot. But I needed to pay our bill for that month, so we all went in. I started talking to some of the other parents, Wyatt was doing okay, so we stayed in the waiting room. He was doing so well, I was chatting, watching Saige in between conversations, all was good.



As the dancers and their parents from the class after Saige's started arriving, the number of the people in the room increased, the volume in the room increased, the commotion increased. For typical kids...no big deal. For kids with Autism....BIG DEAL! I noticed Wyatt concentrating more and more on the two little toys in his hands. If I so much as touched them, he would groan. This is not like him. I knew what was happening. The sensory stimulus in the room became too great, so he was fixating on the toys in his hands, trying his best to block out all the other noises, sounds, lights, etc that he just couldn't deal with.



I knew the scene that was about to unfold. I helped Saige gather up her things, told her I would need her to be responsible for carrying her own stuff which included a dance bag and two boxes with her new ballet and tap shoes in them. I scooped Wyatt up, he let out an extremely loud yell and immediately did what we call "the dead man's drop"...his arms go straight up in the air so I have nothing to hold on to in order to carry him out. With the continuous and loud yell, all eyes are now on Wyatt, on me, and probably a few on Saige. Normally in a situation like this I probably would have had a few of the ..."just wait till we get home" thoughts run through my head along with a long list of punishments to be implemented, but with Wyatt I know he can not help it.



I take a deep breath, scoop all 40 pounds of him up off the floor kicking and screaming, losing shoes, toys, and who knows what else in the process and make a B-line for the door. I tried to hold his feet close to me to keep him from kicking anyone, I'm not sure if i was successful or not, all I knew was we needed to get out that door. He wouldn't be better until we were out.



We made it out, only to have Wyatt scream and scream and scream in our van. I had to wait him out, he wouldn't let me buckle him in.



I digress...the point of the story...Saige not once looked embarassed, Saige not once got upset, Saige not once seemed a bit frustrated with Wyatt. Saige loves her brother. She kept trying to talk to him, kept asking me what was wrong with Wyatt. Kept trying to make it all better. Sweet girl. So proud of her, she did truly shine that night.

"Hi mama"

So, I may be using my blog as a little bit of a "brag board". Is that a sin? Wyatt's speech has gotten so good in the last few months that I just can't help myself!

In this video, I'm trying to get him to say "Hi mama" which he eventually does. I think he called me grandma at first which I can totally understand because it has been way too long since the last time I had my hair dyed :) but I won't hold that against him (he has some pretty great grandmas!)

"Hi gama, Hi papa"

Isn't the rate of Autism climbing because we are more aware of it now?

I get this question A LOT. This graph shocks and horrifies me. It didn't transfer well, so here's the original link.
http://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science_news/top_ten_autism_research_events_2009_prevalence.php
In summary:
In 1975 1 in 5000 children diagnosed with Autism.
In 1985 1 in 2500
In 1995 1 in 500
In 2004 1 in 166
In 2009 1 in 110.

So the answer...yes and no. Yes some of the increase is due to changes in diagnostic criteria, better knowledge, and increased awareness. But in the last 5 years there has STILL been a 57% increase in incidence. Does this answer the question?

More spontaneous speech: Ball!

Wyatt's progress with spontaneous speech continues! Today he walked up to me with a beach ball, handed it to me, and said "ball, ball, ball". Who knew a ball could be so much fun!

Wyatt says "Wyatt"

Wyatt recently learned how to say his own name, and I think it's just about the cutest thing ever!

Before.....After.....

This has been a long time coming. We finally could not look at all the fingerprints, scratches, faded crayon marks from an attempted cleaning, or smudges anymore and we had our great room painted. The pictures don't do it justice, it really turned out fantastic! The color changes from gold, to green, to beige throughout the day depending on the lighting. We love it!

(notice all of the samples painted on the wall in this before picture...it took us a long time to decide on a color)

Way cute game!

This is for our wonderful therapists who we miss very much!

This is one of Wyatt's many "back and forth" games he has recently decided he loves to play with us. They are silly, and to an untrained eye don't look like much. But for kids with Autism, THIS IS HUGE!

I especially love the look on Saige's face when she sees Wyatt participate. She has become quite a good little speech/ot/special instructor for him. She tells me now that when she grows up she wants to be a therapist, a teacher, a fashion designer and a model. Go for it girl!

This boy needs a dog!

We do not have good luck with pets. We had two cats die in our first two years of marriage. We had a dog at one point, but he had to "go live with his mommy" (at least as far as Saige is concerned). The other day we "dog sat" our neighbors pooch and, despite our past history, I think this boy needs a dog! Wyatt immediately started panting like a dog, and chased Truman around this entire house the whole time he was here. The stumbling block, John. I've got some major convincing to do. Any ideas?

Last day

I don't even know how to start or finish this blog post. Some of you may already have heard that Micheala and Mariah have moved to their biological grandmother's house on December 30th. They have lived in our home for two years (since November 2007), and had been in foster care for nearly 2 1/2 years (beginning August 2007). It has taken a while, but their maternal grandmother has been given guardianship of all four girls. Although it doesn't feel like it, this is how it is supposed to work. Foster care is supposed to be temporary, kids are supposed to be with their biological families if at all possible, and being in stable homes with their biological families really is the best place for them.

We've had conversations with many people about why we do foster care, and it is always difficult to explain. It is something we have truly felt inspired to do. We feel a calling to do it. We feel good about what we were able to provide for the girls while they were in our home. Love, comfort, stability, education, warmth, and security. We have learned that there is much we can not control. We can't control what happens in their lives from this point on, but we can feel good about the last two years and hope that we made some impact on their lives that will carry them through an challenges that may come.

We apologize for not letting many people know ahead of time. It was partially because we didn't know if this would all go through for sure, and partially in an effort to help this be as smooth as possible for the girls. They were truly excited to get to live with their grandma and with their sisters again. We really tried to focus on the "positives" over the last few weeks and not so much on the sadness of leaving their current life behind. We focused on being around their biological family again, getting to go to a new school, getting a new bedroom, new toys, new house, new neighborhood, new teachers, and making new friends. It was an exciting time for them instead of a sad time which is what we felt was best for them.

I thought I would try to answer many of your questions as briefly as I can...

Yes, their grandmother is allowing us to remain in contact with them.

Yes, we've heard from them already and they are doing fine.

No, they don't live in the KC area so it will be difficult to actually see them again.

Yes, we will foster again, but not for several months.

Yes, we are all doing fine. It is a BIG adjustment period for us that will take a while, but we are managing and are settling into our new routines.

Yes, we miss them terribly.

After the big "good bye" on Thursday, we took Saige to Build a Bear for a little "Bear therapy". I think she did a great job dressing her new tiger. We also went to see the Princess and the Frog that night, then to Coco Key on New Years. Yes, we are trying to distract ourselves.... :)

Thank you all for the love, friendship, and compassion you have shown to these sweet girls over the last two years! I know their lives have been made better for it!

Christmas morning 2009

My "surprised" look (I picked out my own Christmas gift)

Mariah with dress up stuff, Saige with her DS

Wyatt loved his tunnel toy, Micheala with her genuine "surprised" look!